The SOS page of the ThriveMind Planner is something I’d been envisioning for a long time. It’s designed for those horrific internal moments — the moments when everything feels like it’s crumbling, and despite your best efforts, you just can’t seem to escape as it all comes crashing down.
In those moments, I tend to freeze. I’ve lost entire mornings or afternoons to thought spirals — or to that foggy, hollow feeling where nothing seems to matter, yet I can’t move forward or get anything done.
The SOS page was created for exactly that. So far, it’s helped me pause those spirals and begin finding my footing again. It’s still a work in progress as I continue developing scripts for the nine core challenge types. Each QR code on the page will link to a calming script and strategy designed to help you navigate the specific type of struggle and find your way back to the present.
That’s what I’ve been working on today — and this post was inspired by one of those nine challenges: the identity and emotional spiral that often arises from harsh self-criticism or the painful sense of disapproval from others.
In this post, I want to offer gentle guidance for recognizing these spirals, understanding where they come from, and beginning to meet them with care and compassion.
When Harsh Self-Talk Takes Over
If you’ve ever found yourself lost in a storm of painful thoughts — questioning your worth, doubting your identity, or feeling like you’re unraveling — you’re not alone.
These moments can be especially intense for those who are neurodivergent, who have always felt different, and who may struggle with executive functioning. When that sense of being different combines with internalized shame, it can feel like your very existence is under threat — as if everything hinges on one question:
Am I good enough?
If you’ve been steeping here for a while throughout your life, you might even ask yourself something as cruel as “Why won’t I just be good enough. Why won’t I just be normal, like everyone else?”
During these painful moments, whether we realize it or not, our minds often flood us with harsh messages:
- “I’m failing.”
- “I’m wrong.”
- “I’ll never be good enough.”
And under this storm of self-criticism — sometimes reinforced by the judgments or misunderstandings of others — it makes sense that we might feel like we’re falling apart.
But here’s the truth: You are not failing. You are not unraveling.
You are simply having a hard moment. And hard moments are part of being human.
This Pain Is Temporary
The pain you feel in these moments doesn’t define who you are. It’s a sign that you’re overwhelmed — not a verdict on your worth.
When you notice yourself caught in this spiral, the first step is to slow down.
Try This:
- Take a slow breath in, feeling the air fill your body.
- Gently breathe out, as slowly as you can.
- Repeat this once or twice, reminding yourself: I am safe.
Explore What You’re Feeling
Once you’ve slowed your breath, try turning your attention inward with curiosity, not judgment.
Ask yourself:
- What am I feeling right now?
Is it sadness? Shame? Fear? Loneliness? Anger? Maybe a mix?
If you can, say it out loud or write it down:
“I feel shame.”
“I feel fear.”
“I feel loneliness.”
Naming your feelings isn’t judging them. It helps bring clarity and softness to the swirl of emotion.
Understand the Message Beneath the Feeling
Next, ask:
- What is this emotion trying to tell me?
It might be saying:
- “I want to feel safe.”
- “I want to feel accepted.”
- “I want to know I’m enough.”
- “I need rest.”
There’s no wrong answer. These insights can gently guide you toward what you truly need.
Imagine Holding the Emotion with Kindness
Picture your emotion.
If it had a color, what would it be?
If it had a shape, what would it look like?
Imagine holding it in your hands — not pushing it away, not feeding it, just gently cradling it.
And say to yourself:
- “I’m here with you.”
- “You’re allowed to be here.”
- “We’re okay, even with this feeling.”
Recognize the Spiral for What It Is
Sometimes, the spiral begins with a moment in an interaction — a look, a tone, a silence — and suddenly, old painful stories flood in:
- “They don’t approve.”
- “They’re disappointed.”
- “There’s something wrong with me that can’t be fixed.”
Before you know it, you’re in that dark place. If that’s happening, pause and ask:
- What just happened that set this off?
- What deep fear might be underneath this?
It might be:
- “I’m afraid I’ll be rejected.”
- “I’m afraid I’m unworthy of love.”
- “I’m afraid I’ll never get it right.”
By noticing this, you’re shining light on the part of you that’s hurting.
Offer Yourself Compassion
Speak to yourself as you would to a frightened child:
- “I see you.”
- “You’re scared, and that’s okay.”
- “You’ve carried this fear for a long time. You don’t have to carry it alone.”
- “In this moment, I choose to stay with you.”
What Helps Right Now?
Think of one small thing that has helped you feel steadier in the past:
- Listening to a favorite song
- Wrapping yourself in a blanket
- Drinking water
- Looking at the sky
Whatever it is, allow yourself to do that now.
You Are Enough
You might still feel shaky — that’s okay.
What matters is that you noticed the spiral and chose to meet it with care.
- You are enough.
- You are safe right now.
- You are not alone.
If You Need Support
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, remember: You deserve care. You deserve compassion — from others, and from yourself.
If you need to talk to someone, please consider reaching out to a support line or someone you trust. A quick search online for “24/7 mental health crisis hotline near me” should turn up with a number you can call for support.
Final Thoughts
These moments of self-doubt and pain are not signs of weakness. They’re signs that you’re human — and that you’re trying. You’re really trying. So give yourself that credit.
By slowing down, noticing what’s happening, and responding with kindness, you’re already taking powerful steps forward.
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