Ten years ago, I’d open my eyes to a new day and spring out of bed. Every morning felt like a clean slate — a fresh chance to take on the world.
Now that I have young kids and much less control over how I structure my day, my mornings feel completely different. Sometimes I know I’m awake but struggle to open my eyes. Other times, I’m lucid for a few seconds, only to find myself waking again an hour later.
It feels defeating on some days. I think about how much I used to accomplish before the sun even rose. Now, I feel like the days pass me by. Even as I sit at my desk just shy of noon, I sometimes feel I have so little to show for my day.
The Emotional Struggle
Is this depression? Hopelessness? Maybe just a little. Maybe I’m still grieving the freedom and energy I used to have. But then I hear my kids’ laughter and feel the warmth in my heart for how my life looks now.
And in these moments, I remind myself: I’m probably being too hard on myself. I’m asking my 33-year-old self to deliver the same energy and speed I had at 23. The undeniable fact is: I’ve aged. I’ve traded speed and fresh-faced youth for the wisdom of knowing I’m not the exact same person I was. But she and I — we’re sisters. Neither of us is better than the other.
Executive Function, Energy, and the Need for a Plan
What I really need is to do a better job of pairing tasks to my energy levels. That realization brings a little more energy to my fingertips and heart as I type.
It’s been difficult having the kids home so much this summer. Even though they’re with their dad part of the week — and I miss them terribly when they’re gone — I struggle to be productive when they’re here. And I don’t give myself enough grace for it.
There’s so much I want to do: not just with the ThriveMind Planner, but with the website and resource ecosystem I’m building. The hardest part is feeling like so many ideas swirl in my head, but I just don’t have the energy or time to focus on each one. I feel ideas slip through the cracks of my mind before they even get a chance to draw a breath.
And what about my role as a mother? Why can’t I call six-and-a-half hours of hard work good enough and feel free to be present at home?
Better executive functioning would help with this. I’d have a clearer daily plan. I’d assign time estimates to carefully thought-through steps. I’d forecast my productivity realistically, based on my energy patterns. And I’d be better at preventing scope creep as I integrate new projects into the planner — each one feeling more daring than the last.
Grounding Myself: The Next Step
I love myself — and I love my runaway motivation. I just need to be a little more grounded, a little more tactical.
So here’s my plan:
- I’ll write down how many things must get done over the next three weeks, and how many would be nice.
- I’ll review my planner to calculate my average energy levels for the past month.
- I’ll use that data to forecast what I can realistically accomplish.
- I’ll finish the post on budgeting tools, which is taking me longer than I thought it would.
That’s my starting point. I’m so glad I took a moment to jot this down and figure it out. Of course I’m being too hard on myself. Of course.
If You Feel This, Too…
If you’ve ever felt caught between ambition and exhaustion, between love for your family and longing for focus, you’re not alone. Maybe today, like me, you’ll take the next small step: reflect, plan, and be a little kinder to yourself.
🌟 Related Resources
- Executive Function and Energy Management: A Practical Guide
- How to Break Tasks Into Micro-Steps
- Check out the ThriveMind Neurodivergent Daily Planner
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