Emotional Regulation (Core Executive Function Skill)

Emotional regulation doesn’t mean suppressing feelings—it means creating space between emotion and reaction, so you choices aren’t hijacked by intense internal states.

Section 1: What Is Emotional Regulation?

Emotional regulation is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage your emotional responses in ways that support well-being, relationships, and long-term goals.

Core Abilities:

• Identifying and labeling emotions accurately
• Tolerating discomfort without becoming overwhelmed
• Pausing before reacting impulsively
• Shifting emotional states with intention (self-soothing, reframing)
• Matching emotional expression to context

Section 2. Emotional Regulation Challenges

Common Challenges Look Like:

• Trouble finding the words to describe or explain what’s being felt
• Big emotions that escalate quickly or feel out of proportion
• Difficulty calming down once upset or overstimulated
• Shutting down or avoiding feelings altogether
• Emotional outbursts followed by shame or exhaustion

Related: Emotional Dysregulation

Section 3. The Unique Challenges for Neurodivergent Minds

Neurodivergent individuals often experience heightened or rapidly shifting emotional states due to neurological differences in how emotions are processed, sensed, and expressed. Emotional dysregulation is not a character flaw—it’s a brain-based challenge that requires support, not shame.

Neurodivergent-Specific Contributors:

• Sensitivity to internal or external stimuli (e.g., sounds, textures, social energy)
• Alexithymia (difficulty identifying or describing emotions), common in autism
• Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) in ADHD, leading to extreme reactions to perceived criticism or failure
• Executive function overload, where stress spills over into emotion
• Social masking or suppression, which can delay or intensify emotional processing

Related: Autism Masking | Neurodivergence & Executive Function

Section 4. How to Strengthen Emotional Regulation Skills

A. Build Emotional Awareness and Vocabulary

• Use emotion wheels or visuals to build language around feelings
• Track emotions through journaling or mood logs
• Pause to ask “What am I feeling right now?”—not just “What’s wrong with me?”

B. Practice Regulation Strategies That Work With Your Nervous System

• Try grounding exercises, movement, music, or sensory tools
• Experiment with self-soothing rituals that help restore balance
• Use co-regulation (e.g., body doubling or support from a trusted person)

C. Create Space Between Feeling and Action

• Use scripts, mantras, or reminders like “Feelings aren’t facts”
• Set up safe places or systems to decompress before reacting
• Reframe setbacks as signals, not signs of failure

Related: Emotional Regulation Strategies + Supports | Cognitive Flexibility Supports

Section 5. What Emotional Regulation Progress Looks Like

Progress in emotional regulation isn’t about never feeling big feelings—it’s about becoming more skillful at navigating them.

Signs include:

• Increased ability to name and validate your emotions
• Using regulation tools earlier, before things spiral
• Less time spent recovering from emotional dysregulation
• More consistent emotional responses in everyday situations
• Feeling more in control without suppressing your true feelings

References:

“Alexithymia: Difficulty Recognizing and Feeling Emotions.” Healthline.com. https://www.healthline.com/health/autism/alexithymia.

“Emotional Regulation.” Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/emotion-regulation#:~:text=Reviewed%20by%20Psychology%20Today%20Staff,to%20feel%20happy%20or%20calm.

“Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD).” Cleveland Clinic. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24099-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-rsd.

“What is Social Masking?” Bristol Autism Support. https://www.bristolautismsupport.org/social-masking/#:~:text=Social%20Masking%20is%20where%20an,we%20do%20to%20appear%20normal.