When I got to the 6th grade back in the early 2000s, the school began providing planners at the very beginning of each academic year. I remember flipping through my new planner for the first time—I was so excited to hold it, flip through it, and think about all the things I’d write in it. But those feelings faded almost immediately as life happened and reality hit me. Even with this tool, I still couldn’t seem to keep up with schoolwork, due dates, and time management in general.
From then on, each year would begin with a clean slate as I grasped that brand new planner in my hands. I held out hope, telling myself that this year I’d be a responsible student and stick with organization. And each year would then proceed with the snowballing sting of almost daily defeats. I failed. Even with the planner, I wouldn’t follow through.
It took me almost two decades to discover the truth: my struggles weren’t with mindset, discipline, or will to change. Instead, they reflected struggles with core executive function skills like task initiation, time management, and focus, all of which are adversely affected by attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and neurodivergence. Hopefully my experiences will resonate, helping others to realize they did the best they could and the disappointing outcomes weren’t their fault.
[This is about my personal life experiences. They hold some value for me in better understanding the nature of these challenges, but feel free to skip to Part II: 3 Core Reasons Traditional Planners Fail Neurodivergent Minds”]
The first time I heard “The Scientist” by Coldplay, it made me cry, and it’s made me cry dozens of times since. Even now, when I stop to think about it, I start tearing up because that song exemplifies so perfectly the relationship between me and the disconnect I felt with myself. There was this growing distance in me, and it started early.
When I was a little kid, I was obsessed with stationery. I loved stickers (still do!), pens, and planners. But most of all, I loved diaries. With every diary I acquired, I’d try to do an entry every day like in the movies. It never caught on, though, which was a little bit confusing and disappointing, but ultimately not very important to me.
Back then, I didn’t devote much attention to daily routines, clocks, or even days of the week. Days would start with my mom waking me up. Then it was time to get dressed. Then there would be food in front of me to eat. It felt like I was standing still and the world around me was moving—not the other way around. And it was fine, because time seemed endless, and I always had fun.
But as I got older, things changed. School got more complicated, and by the 5th grade, I was routinely struggling to turn in all of my schoolwork. Until then, I’d gotten straight A’s, but now the frequent zeros were tanking my average.
It was a real paradox back then. My work was high quality—like the actual substance of my thoughts. I’d get praise from teachers on the thoughtfulness and creativity I demonstrated. If only I could remember homework assignments and get things in on time.
When I got to middle school, and from that point on, the teachers would give each student a planner at the beginning of the academic year. It was maybe one-third of an inch thick and maybe 5 in. x 8 in. And it still wasn’t enough for me to cope.
I’d try to explain how I’d come into class, sit, and listen. I’d write things down when the teacher spoke and make sure to look at the board first thing every day. But then I’d get back home and be baffled; I couldn’t remember a single thing, and I couldn’t make sense of my notes. And try as I might, the information I’d copy down in my planner was frequently unreliable and spotty.
But I was REALLY, REALLY trying.
They’d say, “When it’s important enough to you, you’ll find a way to get it done.”
And every year, that planner was a new chance to prove who I was and what I was capable of. I’d tell myself with conviction that I finally wanted it enough. I was finally sick of the shame I’d feel each time I was on display as a disappointment. I was sick of losing track of my notes and daydreaming for massive portions of my teachers’ slide presentations. This year, I’d stop procrastinating on projects and actually get some sleep the night before major assignments were due. I wanted it enough—this time I was certain.
I was so diligent about following the rules, about trying: I didn’t gossip with other kids during class. After school, I’d let off steam by running for miles while my mind was allowed to think about whatever it wanted. And I’d regularly wake up early at 4:30a to do homework in peace while the world was quiet. All to end up in class the next day with another screw-up, another failure.
And year after year, I’d resign myself to the idea that I hadn’t wanted enough—that I deserved the snowballing trash-heap finale to each academic year. The pain in my mind and heart grew more deafening with each resonating defeat.
It hurt, and it still hurts.
In Part II, I’ll break down exactly why traditional planners fail neurodivergent minds. In Part III, I’ll explore how I’ve translated executive function concepts into ADHD Daily planner layouts and the ThriveMind Planner.
Belsky, Gail. “What is Executive Function?” Understood. https://www.understood.org/en/articles/what-is-executive-function.
Jacobson, Rae. “How to Tell if Your Daughter Has ADHD.” Child Mind Institute. https://childmind.org/article/how-to-tell-if-your-daughter-has-adhd/?gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADxqHB-iWGTd3QbpCOoksQXldB2Ad&gclid=CjwKCAjw8IfABhBXEiwAxRHlsA0EP5wsM6kBhQt5jblpBj_t31ZCClRl15-qXQHxRRid_TO7l0w_RxoCRLEQAvD_BwE.
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